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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Ben and Jerry are going to bring out a special line of LGBT ice-cream? They're gonna call it Ambrusia."

"No officer the joke's on you. That breathalyzer will never tell you how much acid I dropped tonight."

"I see Paris, I see France, I got a great new pair of binoculars from an overpriced sporting goods store today"

"Running out of time to be a Trophy Wife, so now just hoping to be an I Finished The Race Tshirt Wife."

"You scream, I scream, we all scream, then I leave the women's restroom."

"How do you know when your at a gay barbecue? When all the hot dogs taste like shit."

"Jack and Jill went up a hill; &nbsp; to have a bit of fun. &nbsp; But stupid Jill forgot the pill; &nbsp; and now they have a son."

"Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table? Because it cracked itself up."

"Why is a T-rex so angry? He can't masturbate."

"Autocorrect and I are so close, we finish each other's sentinels."