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Joke of the Day

"I wish every time I made eye contact the Super Mario coin sound happened."

"So I went to the zoo today and all they had was a dog. It was a shihtzu."

"Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have nothing but a gross penny you found in some filthy parking lot."

"A joke about construction... It's still needs work."

"Anal sex is just like your first car You don't want it, but your dad gives it to you anyway"

"[Batman in tears] Catwoman left me Oh no what happened?! I left the door open and she just bolted"

"If Batman gets to use a piece of Kryptonite against Superman, Superman should get to use a piece of Batman's parents. Fair is fair."

"I asked God whether or not to open a brothel He replied ""build it and they will come""."

"I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed."

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."