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Joke of the Day

"A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

"When Big Johnny tried to fly without an ID... ...the TSA diagnosed him with an enlarged prostate."

"A dyslexic man... Walks into a bra."

"Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up."

"I have a bunch of sheep puns....... But they're, pretty Baa^aaaaa^aaaaa^aad."

"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."

"If someone eggs your house, you can save time cleaning up by just baking your house into a cake."

"What did the fish say when it swam into the wall? Ah dam!"

"Whats the difference between a Ginger and a Shoe ? The shoe has a sole"

"dear matt Damon for Halloween I think you should go as Matt Demon or Good Will Haunting. text me if you do"