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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a pedophile and a sexually active wife of a cop? One wants to cop a feel and the other wants to feel a cop."

"There's nothing wrong with being a self-made man... Unless you have an Oedipus complex and a time machine."

"My stalker just threatened to kill herself if I didn't love her back. It's nice when problems resolve themselves like that.;-)"

"Stoners are gearing up to do on 4/20 what they do every other day of the year."

"Two Irish guys walk out of a bar."

"A family walk into a hotel, the father walks up to the counter and says ""I hope the porn is disabled"" The clerk replies "" its just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"My wife just accused me of being big-headed and thinking I was better than I was. I nearly fell off my throne."

"""Wait, it wasn't us? Are you sure?"" - Fox News"

"What's big, green, has four legs and if it falls out of a tree it can kill you? A pool table."

"Asked my wife if I was going to get a ""tip"" for driving her around today. She laughed and laughed. Apparently so hard, she got a headache."