139770

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a pedophile and a sexually active wife of a cop? One wants to cop a feel and the other wants to feel a cop."

"Did you know Helen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she."

"When I die, I want to pass peacefully in my sleep, like my grandpa Not screaming in petrified terror, like his passengers."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"So oxygen went on a second date with potassium That went OK2"

"A polite penis stands up when a lady wants to sit down"

"Marriage is like a card game. At first, you have two Hearts and a Diamond, but at the end, you'll want a Club and a Spade."

"I'm going to write a colorless geometry book. It'll be called ""Fifty Shapes of Grey."""

"Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything's grey I'm a dog"

"How to spell ""me"" A man walks up to a woman and asks her to spell the word ""ME"" for him. She says, ""M-E"". The man says, ""But you forgot the D!"" ""But there's no ""D"" in ""ME""!"" He says, ""Not yet.."""