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Joke of the Day

"I've always wanted to pursue a career in self-deprecating humor I'd go for it if I wasn't so fucking stupid."

"Don't Commit Suicide 0/10 people who commit suicide recommend it."

"I took my family out to an authentic Chinese restaurant. My wife and I had chow mein and my daughter built 3 iPhones"

"What is the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew? Black Jews have to sit at the back of the gas chamber."

"Dad says, ""College students are more interested in women today than ever before.."" A lot of them are in a program where they study a broad"

"Magneto spent his high school years dating girls with braces."

"My girlfriend is like the square root of a negative 100... She's a perfect 10! But she's also imaginary."

"What did the Dalai Lama say to the guy in the kebab shop? ""Make me one with everything."""

"Why would John F. Kennedy make a horrible boxer? Because he can't take a shot to the head."

"I've got two tickets to paradise and a they're both obstructed view."