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Joke of the Day

"Don't Commit Suicide 0/10 people who commit suicide recommend it."

"I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow."

"""Give it here!"" ""No, it's mine!"" ""it's my turn!"" ""you had it last!"" ""come on gimme it!"" ""no way!"" ""but it's my go!"" Siamese twins having a wank."

"A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired) What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? -Refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it."

"A man goes into the doctor, and says ""I broke my arm in three places."" And the doctor says, ""Well then don't go to those places anymore."""

"Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."

"What does a fedora guy say on the Singapore border? M'lasia"

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"

"I like to have a glass of water around to make sure there aren't any dinosaurs approaching."

"Son, you're kind of like rapunzel. But instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down."