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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you & they're stabbing it? No? How about now?"

Next Joke
 
"I thought my roommate was joking when he said Gary Oldman was in the Harry Potter movies. He was dead Sirius."
"Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?"
"What do you call a dinosaur having brunch? Tea-Rex"
"Today it's National Take Off Your Cap Day Hats off to whoever founded it."
"Quit my banking job this morning I lost interest"
"For $60, this printer ink had better be hand squeezed out of endangered squids."
"s/o to the fact that ketchup is a smoothie b/c tomatoes are fruits lol DIDNT SEE THAT ONE COMING DID U FRIES OMNOMNOM"
"My blind friend just tried LSD for the first time... There was more tripping than usual."
"A dog limps into a bar and says... I'm looking for the man who shot my paw!"