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Joke of the Day

"Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?"

"What do you get when you put resistance on a stove? Ohm on the range"

"I use to have a quantum-sized girlfriend, but she was too quarky for me."

"If these grapes were drugs I'd be overdosing like a child star of the 80s."

"Did you hear the one about the gay midget? He went up on a guy."

"I want to create a show called ""Deja Vu"" simply for the ""Previously on Deja Vu""."

"""I have too much time on my hands and I want to stew in a broth of my own filth."" - People who take baths"

"Fantasy: We run in slow motion toward each other across an open field. Her side is mined."

"I'm from the friendzone originally But now I live in the bae area."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change."