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Joke of the Day

"You're the bomb! A compliment in America. An argument in the Middle East."

"I was in the confessional booth today and I asked the priest if he thought it might be a good idea to stop masturbating. He said ""Sure, if it bothers you, I'll stop."""

"Come on, terrorists. Stuff your pockets with colorful beads before exploding. It doesn't have to be ALL negative."

"Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock. Nobody has time for that."

"What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground!"

"I lost 15 pounds so far, another 15 to go, but... I do not want to get circumsized"

"Why do the French like eating snails? Because they can't stand fast food!"

"I love doing laundry... It's the only time you can separate the whites from the coloreds and no one gets offended."

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me sexist I would walk free of a rape case"