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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Hillary and Eva Braun? One achieved fame and significance solely because she was married to a charismatic politician. The other was Hilter's wife."

"What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock? Publicly traded stock will mature and make money."

"""Oh you're excited about something? I'll make sure that it doesn't happen."" - Life"

"Some guys are afraid to finish when fapping... Not me, though. I ain't afraid of nuttin!"

"Love how dog food commercials advertise tastier formulas like that matters when deciding what to buy & feed a pet who eats its own vomit."

"It seems r/jokes has developed a fetish for one-liners... Despite all the shortcomings."

"Heard of the cannibal who had a shit taste in people? You could say he was surrounded by assholes."

"Why doesn't the KKK like Halloween? Too many spooks."

"What did the disgruntled alien customer say to the store clerk? Take me to your leader!"

"If you can't handle me at my worst then I should probably pull myself together and be considerate of others."