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Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people in this world... Those that can extrapolate from an incomplete statement,"

"[male bank teller gives my niece a sucker] Me: What do you say? Niece: My aunt's single, do you have money? Me: lol how embarrassing! Do u?"

"I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick"

"What do you call a boar that sounds like a horse ? Neighbor?"

"This hot girl ""punched""me in the dick this afternoon She only gently touched it, but it's all swollen up now :/"

"What do you call a place showcasing gay people in their natural environment? A queerium"

"We are a generation away from having grandpas named Skyler and Landon and it's all of your faults."

"There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim."

"what was Stevie Wonders first words when he got his eyesight back? Who the hells been dressing me all these years?"

"Justin Bieber is coming out with an 'Unplugged album'? I hope it's the microphone that they unplug."