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Joke of the Day
"I went to Premature Ejaculators Anonymous but nobody was there. I guess I came too soon."
Next Joke
"If you are a rock climber and are looking for new carabiner... I can get you a nice hookup on a deal. Edit: Apparently I can't edit the title to add the missing letter."
"What new feature will the next Star Wars movie have that the old ones didn't? Han-free"
"My ex-girlfriend... Bent my car's hood,but it was my fault a little bit too I was just a little bit over the legal speed."
"I saw Denzel Washington on the street today. I said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel Washington you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."
"Chuck Norris is in a class of his own. That doesn't implement Comparable. #hacking"
"I'm vegan until my next paycheck."
"Nothing stops me in my tracks faster than a five year old saying, ""I got you a present!"""
"""How much for the mannequin in the clown outfit?"" ""Sir, she came in with you!"""
"I know you seen me continuously push the ""close doors"" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it's just awkward"