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Joke of the Day

"My ex-girlfriend... Bent my car's hood,but it was my fault a little bit too I was just a little bit over the legal speed."

"What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist? An extroverted physicist looks at *your* shoes when they're talking to you."

"How did the bird get his bluetooth to work? He had to parrot."

"Oh, you dropped out of school to pursue your dreams? Cool. I'll have a number 1 and hold the lettuce please."

"Birds that land and then WALK across the street... what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I don't understand why Christians don't like gay people After all, Jesus was a famous cross-dresser."

"I hear seatbelts save lives! Nope, nevermind, still have cancer."

"My Mum saw me naked this morning Guess now she knows what she's getting for Christmas."

"Quit criticizing the girls that take slutty pics and put them on Facebook! I like looking at them you homo!"

"I suppose I should be thankful that I'm a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults."