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Joke of the Day
"Why did the blood-sucking bat hate the taste of blood? Because it was too irony."
Next Joke
"ME: Hmm. My biggest weakness? Tough question. I guess some people say I'm delusional UBER DRIVER: I didn't say anything"
"At church, what three words are foremost in a bride's mind on her wedding day? ""Aisle,altar,hymn."""
"Arrogant lady, owned ! Lady : I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! Man : If I were the last man on earth, you wouldn't have a say in the matter."
"Horse walks up to a mirror and says ""Why the long face?"" Mirror says, ""I'm not sad, I'm just reflective today."""
"GF: What a perfect night ME: It gets better *bends on 1 knee* Will you... GF: OMG yes! ME: *puts Space Jam DVD on her finger* put this in?"
"[At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?"
"Did you hear the one about the three holes in the ground? Well, well, well..."
"There is no ""I"" in TEAM. But there is MEAT. Delicious meat."
"Did you hear about the new cure for diarrhea? They're calling it ""Gone-o-Rhea."""