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Joke of the Day

"[At a 5 star restaurant] *gestures at entire menu* Are any of these words fancy speak for chicken fingers and fries?"

"I don't understand why ISIS is such a big deal. All we have to do is parachute in Chuck Norris, and within a month they will all be dead... It can't be done faster since he fights with his bare hands."

"How do jews get around town? On penny boards."

"I aged about 2 years and counted 14,364 cat hairs on my cashiers blouse at Walmart waiting for her to ring up my groceries."

"What happens to Nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen"

"BREAKING: Barack Obama just elected President of the US - Sent from Internet Explorer"

"A rabbi and a Catholic priest were talking When the priest asked the rabbi - ""When will you ever eat from my food?"" To which the rabbi immediately responded - ""At your wedding"""

"I'm not addicted to cocain I just love how it smells"

"Even the worst hangover wears off by 5:00. Coincidence? I think not."

"Did you know you can't watch porn on the IPhone 7? Yea they took the jack off"