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Joke of the Day

"Pretty certain the only way I'd ever be involved in gardening is if someone murdered me & planted me in their garden."

"A Classic Joke for all ages! Knock Knock."

"Saw an ad for a used battery in the paper today: ""Slightly rusty, in need of repair but has potential"""

"A friend of mine told me all my clothes were gay... ""Keep your voice down!"" I yelled, ""some of them are still in the closet."""

"EVERYONE FREEZE THIS IS A ROBBERY! ""What's that?"" It...it's a sawed-off shotgun. ""Aren't you supposed to use the other half?"" ...shit."

"If my mom had just faked having a headache I wouldn't be writing this bullshit on the internet right now"

"Baltimore Ravens go low carb Baltimore ravens go low carb and cut Rice. (I will see myself out)"

"What's the hardest thing about becoming a lawyer in Ireland? Passing the bar."

"What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs? The Girl Scout that got hit by a car."

"Q: What is long, black and stinks? A: The unemployment line"