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Joke of the Day

"I got a restraining order from the Costco bagel sample lady."

"A talking penguin walked into a bar and the bartender said: ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" And the penguin responded: ""Why do you have a drink named Bill?"""

"A large hole was found in the middle of the city. Officials are looking into it."

"Joke of the Day A baby seal walks into a club."

"Why doesn't George R.R Martin use Twitter? Because he killed off all 140 characters."

"I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don't have to save for retirement..."

"Just like crime, slavery doesn't pay."

"What's the best part about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag's a plus."

"Do you know what happens when you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed."

"Optimism I'm not a pessimist, I'm an optimist. I just don't have a whole lot to work with."