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Joke of the Day

"the grocery store guy left the eggplant out of the bag because he must have known i was gonna eat it on the drive home"

"Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!"

"I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot"

"What's the most oldest joke in the world? The human race."

"There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who can extrapolate from incomplete data,"

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"I told my ex-boyfriend to masturbate so he could give me a fucking break once in a while."

"What do you get when you push a piano down a mining shaft? A flat minor."

"Because it ruins the joke. Why should you never mix up the title and the punchline?"