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Joke of the Day

"When someone says ""It is what it is,"" I reply, ""Isn't it?"" so we can both sound useless."

"Why didn't Jesus cross the road? Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross"

"An eight-year-old kid says t his dad ""When I grow up I want to be a musician."" The dad says ""I am sorry -- can't have it both ways."""

"People who say ""in and of itself"" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world."

"What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped."

"What do you call the second-most hated politician in America? Madam President."

"Some nice Chinese couple gave me a very good camera down by the Washington Monument. I didn't really understand what they were saying, but it was very nice of them."

"what do you think of the number 4? you mean like on a scale of 1 to 10? stolen from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/31g6qc/i_am_a_don_hertzfeldt_filmmaker_ama/cq1dzn8"

"What's the difference between a Jewish mother and a pit bull? The pit bull will eventually let go."

"States are like butts No one likes the flat ones."