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Joke of the Day

"Most people don't even know that New York was attacked by the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man in the 80's. I saw a documentary about it."

"Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian. They're not laughing now."

"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."

"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."

"How can you tell if someone does crossfit? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"I know it's ""cool"" to make fun of celebrities, but the Bieber jokes need to stop. That's somebody's daughter."

"Man escapes from insane asylum, and has sex with a girl in a laundry mat. The newspaper the next day reads: ""Nut screws washers and bolts."" Edit: Error in title: laundromat*."

"[NSFW] A Jelly Baby goes to the Doctor... Jelly Baby: ""Doctor, Doctor, my penis has gone black."" Doctor: ""What have you been doing?!"" Jelly Baby: ""I don't know... Fucking allsorts!"""

"Did you hear about the new ""morning after"" pill for men? It changes your blood type."

"I put 1 ball in my pocket. But, my friend found 3."