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Joke of the Day

"A man gets pulled over for speeding. The cop comes to the driver's window, takes a few sniffs and says ""Sir, have you been drinking?"" The driver says ""I SWEAR TO DRUNK, I'M NOT GOD!"""

"Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems."

"So I have one coworker who uses ""irregardless"" and another who uses ""unappropriate"" and now I'm over trying to conversate with these people."

"Why are the ""sans"" family of fonts so serious? No one wants to be comic sans."

"Why doesn't Jesus like M&M's? Because they fall through his hands."

"The only way I'd get within six feet of some people is if I'm standing on their grave."

"she like a man in uniform so the mcdonalds outfit here 2 stay"

"My son was crying and asked, ""why doesn't the dog have to wear pants?"" And it's like, I don't even know. So now I'm putting pants on a dog."

"Why is British weather muslim? Because when it isn't sunni, it's utter shiite"

"What did the casket say to the sick casket? Are you coffin?"