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Joke of the Day
"Why was the blonde's belly button sore? Because her boyfriend was blond too."
Next Joke
"God has cursed me with thoughts that come in 147 characters."
"In 7 seasons I've never seen a single motherfucker on Top Chef wash their hands."
"My MOM Says Life is A Race Life iS A Tragedt When SeeN In CloSE-UP, LONG-SHOT. To Truly Laugh, You Must be Able to Take Your PAIN, And PLAY With iT!"
"McDonald's uses canola oil, Five Guys uses peanut oil, and Taco Bell uses... castor oil"
"Every single cat would kill you if it was big enough. Think about THAT when you are deciding between name brand cat food and the generic."
"Parents spend the first 3 years of their child's life teaching it to walk and talk.. They then spend the next 10 years teaching it to sit down and shut up."
"Canada has crack?"
"Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5'9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please"
"Why does the French Army install Rear-view mirrors in their Tanks? So that they can see the battle."