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Joke of the Day

"New laws Do not let your friends derive drunk."

"Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year."

"Did you know: the human body is 60% water, 20% hair, 34% rope, 9% tubes, 12% earrings, 99% eyes, 13% jubjubs, 6% dingdongs, 100% crannies"

"I'm always extra nice to the guy who used to deliver my mail. I'd hate to get into a fist fight with an ex-professional mail boxer."

"How do you sink a norwegian submarine? You knock on the door. How do you sink the same sub again? You knock on the door and they'll come out saying ""Haha! We're not falling for that one again!""."

"What's the point of Jewish football? To get the quarter back."

"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."

"My daughter told me to treat her like a princess... so I made her marry a man she has never met before in order to secure an alliance with France."

"So what exactly can I learn on the Internet? Anything you like - it can even teach you to talk like an Indian. How? See? It's working already."

"What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another? Sorry, my fault."