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Joke of the Day

"""Dave's coming over."" -Dave from work or Dave that doesn't know how doors work? [doorknob sorta jiggles for like 20 minutes]"

"How do you get a clown off of its unicycle? Hit it in the face with a pickaxe."

"What does the mafia and a girls pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in shit!"

"What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes? Discreet uniform distribution"

"he doesnt always use the internet, but when he does, he shares recipes & inspiratiomal quotes. he is..the most pinteresting man in the world"

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls. Ha"

"When i'm hungry I eat food."

"I swear I can stare at my girl for hours and not say a word. It's so fucking difficult with this restraining order to have a good conversation."

"Why did the pig walk into the kitchen? Because he felt like bacon. :P"

"Why do SCUBA divers fall backwards out of boats? Because if they fell forwards, they'd land in the boat."