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Joke of the Day

"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."

"How does the Hulk make money? He flips houses."

"What do you call a disabled paedophile? A creepy crawly"

"So I know this guy who is addicted to brake fluid... He says he can stop anytime."

"Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!"

"A group of feminists deciede to have a picnic... But nobody made any sandwhiches"

"If your partner/spouse tells you they're not reading everything you tweet: A) they're lying B) hi honey!"

"People who try to beat you when walking into a store. No."

"Be Positive ++ My girlfriend always says that be positive!! You know what she is going to have HIV tested this week ;)"

"A duck walks into a bar... The bartender says ""Hey, your pants are down."""