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Joke of the Day

"Why is it impossible to mistake a penis for a vagina? Because there's a vas deference."

"Why do Jewish men get circumcised? because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off."

"How much do dead batteries cost? Nothing. They are free of charge!"

"Why is 77 better then 69? Because you get eight more!"

"Some people say I dream too much, I say it's just because my life is better than their dreams are."

"gas pump: do you want a receipt? Y/N me: *presses yes* gas pump: me: *pressing harder* YES gas pump: lol nope"

"What do magistrates have with their water? Just ice."

"My insomnia is getting worse But I'm not going to lose any sleep over it."

"Why did the Teletubbies find it hard to pee? They only have one Tinkie-Winkie"

"My friend from Pakistan said he hates his job and can't take it anymore ""It will get better"", I said. ""You have your whole life ahead of you. You're only 12 years old."""