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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in the oven."

"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."

"I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I'll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab."

"You're not impressing anyone, server who didn't write down our orders. You're just making us anxious."

"[at the gym] Trainer: ""Why don't you tell me what your workout goals are."" Me: ""Goals? I'm just here so I don't eat for an hour."""

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says... ""Five beers please."""

"Why hasn't Nintendo released a Mario themed basketball video game? Because Japan isn't good at basketball."

"What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."""

"Oh great. I forgot to pack an apple in my lunch and now there's doctors EVERYWHERE."

"A poster at the door of a church said, ""If you are tired of your sins, come in."" Someone used lipstick to write her number beneath it and added ""Call me, if not."""