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Joke of the Day

"My daughter asked me if it was illegal to be blind which tells me I didn't explain ""legally blind"" very well."

"Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door."

"[calls wife] honey help 'whats wrong?' im done shopping at the door store but now i cant tell which one is the exit 'ok just stop crying'"

"Why are black men taller than white men? Because their knee grows."

"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother's a whore"

"What does Hodor start off his day with? Raisin' Bran."

"Just ate a bag of jelly beans. Did you know if you eat a pineapple, a coconut, and a black one together, it tastes like pina colada asphalt?"

"Women in England are hos! They've always ready to put some chapstick on their lips."

"Relationships are like houseplants, if they're mine they die"

"What do you get when you mix clickbait and major disappointment?"