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Joke of the Day

"what happens when the world stops existing,when all the stars and planets don't exist anymore? Half life 3 will go into early development."

"Me: (from the back of the ambulance) CHANGE THE RADIO Medic: Sir you need to conserve your strength Me: I AM NOT DYING TO A COLDPLAY SONG"

"People who say me breastfeeding in public is 'inappropriate' ...should grow up. It strengths the relationship between me and my dog."

"Why was the snowman infertile? He had snow balls"

"""Stop complaining about food Maliki, it could be worse. There are girls in America who had their hair ruined by some rain."""

"Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions? It pains them to have standards."

"I hate when job recruiters ask me where I see myself in 5 years. Like come on, dude, I don't have 2020 vision."

"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? (NSFW) He forgot to wrap his Whopper!!"

"Why are hula dancers so pretentious? Because their hips stir."

"I'm a party animal... because when I go to parties I end up pissing on the floor"