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Joke of the Day
"How does a redneck mom know her daughter is on the rag? Her son's dick tastes funny."
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"My complete lack of knowledge about Greek mythology has always been my achilles elbow. thanks, Mike!"
"*tries to play a skeletons ribs like a xylophone* SKELETON: you cant...it's not- this is a mischaracterization perpetuated by the media"
"Doctor: ""Sir, the results are in. I'm afraid you have a serious case of 80s Rock Bands Alzheimer's"" Patient: ""Oh my god. What is the cure??!"""
"What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard? Figuring out what to tell you about first."
"Life Advice Never argue with an idiot. They'll drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
"Are you a rational function? because I could ride your asymptote to infinity."
"Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray."
"E-cigs are fedoras for your mouth"
"Dear Boyz II Men, please change your name to Men II Old Men."