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Joke of the Day

"A homeless man randomly asked me if I was from Minnesota yesterday, so I replied, ""no, but once I stabbed a guy who grew up in Minneapolis"""

"What's the difference between an egg and Elliot Rodger? An egg gets laid before it cracks."

"I once saw a slice of toast in a zoo. It was bread in captivity."

"What is Green...and Smells Like Pork? Kermit the Frog's Finger!!"

"""How many fingers do I have up?"" - a gynecologist who thinks he's really funny"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? Trump wouldn't pay $1000 to have a lentil on his face. #watersportsgate #goldenshower"

"""ooOOOooo"" ""oooOOoo"" ""oooOOoh"" ""OoOOooh"" --spirited debate"

"I'm not racist. I treat everybody like they're black."

"How you control your anger Father to son: whenever i beat you, you dont get annoyed, how you control your anger? son: i start cleaning the toilet seat with your toothbrush"

"I'm not saying she's worse than my mom... But my wife doesn't seem to like any of my girlfriends."