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Joke of the Day

"I don't always use complete sentences But when I do"

"Bad news: I burned my finger on the toaster. Good news: 1 down, 9 stupid incriminating fingerprints to go."

"What do you call a mexican without a car? CAR-LOSE"

"You wanna do stuff with toys in bed? Let's do it; I've already got like 3 hot wheels cars and a Barbie in there right now, so...."

"I saw a woman with a lower back tattoo that said ""Classy"" and my brain leaked out of my ear."

"French tanks have 6 gears for going backwards and only 1 gear for going forward In case they get attacked from behind"

"how do you make pickle bread? with dill dough"

"Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low."

"- Baby, do you think I have too much makeup on? - That depends. Are you gonna try to kill Batman?"

"A great tribute from the Brazil team to Neymar. He couldn't play so the rest of the players decided not to either."