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Joke of the Day
"Adults never get excited anymore about how big I got since they last saw me :("
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer... I give a shit when my computer crashes."
"When I get in a crowded elevator I can't stop myself from trying to guess everybody's weight."
"What's 50 Cent's new name? 50 Drachma."
"How many biblical figures does it take to get Donald Trump elected president? Two Corinthians."
"I used to give my co-workers nicknames based on their most dominant features, like 'Loves Abortions Brenda' or 'Eats Her Feelings Julie'."
"What do you call someone who murders a toucan, a leprechaun, and a honey bee? A cereal killer!"
"What do you call it when Google Glass connects to the internet? Eye-fi."
"I am ""cool"" and ""chill"" and ""stuck inside the walk in freezer."""
"whats white with red stripes and crawls slowly over the floor? Freshly whipped masochist!"