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Joke of the Day

"[texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident."

"Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel? Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis."

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"Cat 1: Are the humans asleep? Cat 2: It appears so. Cat 1: I shall now sing the anthem of my people."

"Chicken and a frog found a book The chicken says ""book book book BOOK!'' The frog responds ''Read it Read it Read it!''"

"How do you know that Beyonce is a hardcore programmer? VB ALL NIGHT!!!!!"

"I hate it when TV shows say they contain ""adult situations"" but then don't show anyone going to a job they hate, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid's vomit."

"Why should the lower 48 states be the lower 46? Because Washington and Colorado aren't low, they're quite high!"

"What do you call an overweight Mexican? A MAXican"

"Today's laugh Every day I tell myself: ""Jack, you have to stop drinking"". Good thing my name ain't Jack!"