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Joke of the Day

"When is the best time to raise money? When there's a stripper in front of you."

"Beware: Butterball Turkeys Recalled !! The factory forgot to butter their balls."

"I have discovered that theirs no popcorn in popcorn chicken. I guess there's no point in bothering with hash browns then."

"Don't worry, people who are sick of political tweets, every horror movies needs a few ""Nah, it's nothing"" types to raise the body count."

"What's Moby Dick's Dad's name? Papa Boner"

"Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called ""Everybody"", and we meet at the bar."

"Guy: ""Do you have a lighter?"" Me: ""Yep"" Guy: ""You smoke?"" Me: ""No, you just never know when you're gonna need to light someone on fire."""

"I'm tired of the Mexicans naming their sons Jesus Jesus was not a Mexican, he was a human being. (Please forgive me)"

"5,""So we don't get to open any presents today?"" Me, ""No."" 5, ""So basically Thanksgiving is just Christmas for your tummy, right?"""

"Monk at the Dentist Did you hear about the Buddhist monk who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication."