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Joke of the Day

"""I'll take the Batmobile. Robin, you take the--"" [Robin doing up laces] ""The Batskates, yeah I know."""

"Man #1 was talking to man #2. Man #2 asked man #1 how his wife Nature was doing. He said ""fine"" Then they heard ""It's time to go!"" #1 said ""well Nature is calling, I've got to go #2."

"Donald Trump is writing a children's book about running for President He's going to title it, ""Marco's Little Adventure"""

"I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow."

"Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she's doing."

"What's red and smells like white paint? Red paint."

"Why did Reddit have a rapid implosion/explosion this afternoon? I heard it had something to do with supermassive bodies."

"I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout... I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality"

"Hi..You've reached my voicemail. I could come to the phone right now but I saw your name on caller ID so leave a message..or not."

"It's been so long, I think my virginity is growing back."