137715

Joke of the Day

"Middle only pie A middle only pie could make someone a lot of money. But I donno if they could contain the business."

"A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West. He sidled up to the bar and announced, ""I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."""

"I will always remember the last thing my Grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket... He said- ""How far do you think I can kick this bucket""?"

"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"

"What does your sex life have in common with a highway bridge? If you have weight limits you aren't going to see as much traffic."

"Let's cure feminism with the 7up plan. Wake up Chin up Grow up Cheer up Lighten up Loosen up But most of all SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Teacher : Tommy you try my patience ! Tommy: No teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it !"

"I've been calling my husband ""babe"" for five years because I'm too embarrassed to tell him I forgot his name."

"Need something witty to say after i pee in a cup... Tomorrow is drug test day... Not sure this is actually the right sub for this but watevs."

"If you ever feel as thought nobody cares about what you do Just post something with a spelling mistake in it."