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Joke of the Day
"What is big, black, and very long? A black hole"
Next Joke
"My wife complained that I don't give her flowers anymore. I replied that she doesn't give me blow jobs anymore."
"Say what you want about pedophiles! At least they slow down in school zones."
"I'm like a reverse MacGyver. I can take a perfectly working item, step on it drunk, then turn it into dozens of unusable, meaningless parts."
"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"
"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. Son:.... Me:..... Son:.... Me:.... Son: I don't have any other feet. Me:.... Fair enough, dude."
"Let's give it up for grandmas who get offended and scared when they hear the word penis, but have like 12 kids."
"I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly."
"A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers, please."""
"I bought some pot from a T-Rex ... ... he was a small arms dealer."