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Joke of the Day
"Say what you want about pedophiles! At least they slow down in school zones."
Next Joke
"Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left."
"Bras come in sizes = AA, A, B, C, D, DD, E, OMG, WTF."
"Why is it that when a woman sleeps with a bunch of men, she is a slut? But when I do it, suddenly I am gay?"
"Every cab driver I've ever had seems like he killed thousands of people in his homeland."
"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said: ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""
"I try to work the song Uptown Funk into every conversation. Don't believe me? Just watch!"
"Past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense"
"Why did the skull win 1st place in the race? Because he ran ahead."
"Press 1 for English. Press 2 for Spanish. Press 3 for Spanglish with Adam Sandler. Press 4 for Gibberish with Flava Fav. Press # for ham."