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Joke of the Day

"""When I was younger they all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian,"" said Dane Cook. ""Nobody's laughing now!"""

"""hey mister can i pet your dog?"" ""sure kid"" ""what kind is he?"" ""that there's a pure beef vienna son careful don't get mustard on your shirt"""

"Cheesy Christmas Jokes? Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself"

"How do you know a black chick is pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon all the cotton has been picked."

"Obviously you don't think you're ignorant! That's the meaning of ignorance!"

"Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization."

"Every time you hire a clown for a kid's birthday party, a therapist gets a new car."

"The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is ""Salary is Credited"" "

"The fact that your guy friends stop being funny after getting a girlfriend is proof enough that women are soul sucking banshees."

"Fucked this girl for an hour and 30 seconds last night Thanks daylight savings!"