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Joke of the Day
"Trump and Hillary are in a plane crash. Who survives? America"
Next Joke
"When your iPod stops working, it floats. Because it doesn't sync."
"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it be arrrrrrgh, but it be the sea."
"I've been lying on the floor of this Cheesecake Factory for half an hour. Everyone keeps stepping over me"
"Election There was an election in New York."
"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""
"I just shortened my to-do list by 90% simply by crossing off everything that would cause me to make the evening news."
"Prostitutes are like cigarettes. As a kid, you think you're never gonna try it. When you start getting older, you think, ""why not just once?"". Soon enough, you're addicted. And broke."
"How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there."
"Marriage is not a noun; it's a verb. Kinda like crying, screaming, or dying."