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Joke of the Day

"What did the DJ say to the jazz musician? Take me to the airport."

"Why did no one like the cannibal that started eating his own body? He was too full of himself."

"Him: *down on one knee* Will you marry me? Me: Nah, I'm good, but... (puts up hand up to high five) thanks for asking!"

"My grandpa said that this generation relies too much on technology. I told him his generation relied on it more. Then I unplugged his life support."

"Just walked past a girl with a Banksy tattoo on her arm. She must be a really deep sleeper!"

"How to stop a kid from growing up. How do you stop your kids from growing up? Ask Jozsef Barsi."

"Q: How many Leos does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Leos don't change lightbulbs although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out."

"Why couldn't the Ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail? Because they couldn't cross the streams."

"Everyone seems so happy for you until they realize your baby carrier is just filled with mozzarella sticks."

"Few things are creepier than someone saying ""I know"" after you introduce yourself."