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Joke of the Day

"According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots."

"Student: I want a bunny, but my dad says bunnies just die. Me: So? You're going to die, and he had you."

"*rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*"

"Did you hear about the new Chinese rap duo? 2 Changz"

"Do you guys wanna hear a joke about a pizza? Naw i dont wanna tell it cause it kind of cheesy....sorry dadjokes"

"What does Nic Cage have in common with Asian fathers? Oh God, not the B's! Not the B's!"

"So I was wondering whether any of my friends could possibly teach me quidditch... ...and then I thought, ""wait a minute, I know one. Oliver would""."

"What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone? A Buddha-pest."

"NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?"

"A girl compliments a guy on his new phone. Girl: 'Nice phone!' Guy: ' Thanks! I won it in a race.' Girl: ' Who were the participants?' Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. '"