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Joke of the Day

"Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority.. Because they hate Dick's"

"*pulls back your shower curtain* What did you mean by ""creepy"""

"Today at the grocery store, they only had one piece of cheese . . . . . . it was provolone."

"Bae: come over. Me: I'm doing the podcast. Bae: come over. Me: nah, I'm doin the podcast. Bae: my parents are out. Me: they can download it."

"Q: Why did the witch's mail rattle? A: It was a chain letter."

"This morning I waved to the garbage men and smiled at coworkers in the elevator and now I'm pretty sure my wife is drugging my coffee."

"There are three kinds of women: the intelligent, the beautiful, and the majority."

"""Hey. Here's some free oxygen. No prob! All I ask is that you don't let your dogs piss on m- Oh there he goes. He's pissing on me."" -trees"

"So I know a joke you can tell Native Americans... Hopefully none of them giveaway the punchline."

"What does my mom and a turkey have in common? They both died on Thanksgiving"