137193

Joke of the Day

"BIack man found shot to death. 27 bullets in total. Police say it was the worst case of suicide they had seen."

"Anti-vaxxers hate Lil John He's always promoting shots."

"I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar They said that there's no cents in the change"

"I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though"

"What is Bart Simpsons' favorite kind of fish? Stealhead!"

"[demetri martin] A drunk driver is very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive. ""Go left."" -""Dude those are trees."" ""trust me."""

"An atheist and a vegan walks into a bar... I know that because they told everybody."

"How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report? Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it."

"I got fired from my job as a bingo caller... apparently ""A meal for two with a terrible view"" was a pathetic way to announce the number 69."

"I met my wife while on holiday. Which was awkward, as I'd told her I was going to a funeral."