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Joke of the Day

"During my school days I was living on baked beans. A house would probably have been a smarter option."

"A cop pulls a guy over for speeding on a slow day Cop: ""I've been waiting for you all day."" Driver: ""Sorry, officer. I got here as fast as I could."""

"So I was outside on the farm yesterday when this cow comes charging at me and attempts to jump over the barbed wire fence... It was an udder disaster."

"What's the difference between a microwave and butt fucking? A microwave doesn't brown your meat."

"What's the difference between a loaf of bread and a penguin? ""I don't know what?"" ""We're sure not sending you to the store!"""

"People who actually put that movie theater ""butter"" on their popcorn should be ineligible for healthcare."

"What is Tom Hanks' wireless password? 1forrest1"

"On which day do monsters eat people? Chewsday."

"What kind of explosive is popular with terrorist school-children? The satchel charge."

"What's your favorite stereotype? Mine is Panasonic"