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Joke of the Day

"ME: I hate owls [Owl turns his head 180] OWL: What? ME: Oh I didn't see you there OWL: Are you talking behind my back? ME: I'm...I'm not sure"

""" You drink too much milk."", said the doctor Your blood is now milk."

"What do you call a cat on a big plate? a platterpuss"

"*puts a picture of Roger Rabbit in a picture frame* I did it. I framed Roger Rabbit."

"78% of black people like sex in the shower. The other 22% haven't been to prison yet."

"I remember directing a play and I thought I'd spice it up a bit by adding a lesbian shower scene... Some say I'm the fresh and bold thing that theatre needs, others that I ruined the nativity."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Ground up and stored in the freezer... ** Stolen from a TV comic I heard, to I take no credit, here"

"Waiter there is a frog in my soup ! Don't worry sir there isn't enough there to drown him !"

"You used to be the semicolon(;) in my life... You used to be the semicolon(;) in my life! Sorry but times have changed and I have python now...!"

"I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME."