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Joke of the Day

"I read a joke about the British pound... But it didn't make any cents to me"

"Why are fish so educated? Because a lot of them are in schools."

"Why are elephants big and grey? Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes."

"What do they eat instead of ""pigs in a blanket"" in McKinney, TX? Pork in a roll. (At least I'm trying)"

"Him: You were supposed to do something about the groundhog under the deck. Me: I did. I named him Lord Melbourne. He likes Cocoa Puffs."

"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."

"What's the turnover rate for pornstars? 100%"

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A doyouthinkhe-saurus"

"PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items ""Toys"". It's very awkward to explain."

"A pregnant girl from my high school made her unborn child a Facebook and added me as a friend. I AM FRIENDS WITH AN EMBRYO YOU GUYS."