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Joke of the Day

"""Time is an arbitrary concept"" is apparently a bad way to explain to your boss why you missed the project deadline"

"Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff? He wanted to try out his new air brakes."

"<--- Tips cup back and lightly taps the bottom. Fifty pieces of ice fall out on face."

"it's cool that you're a nerd but it would be cooler if you were more quiet about it"

"VLUT = A Virgin that act's like a SLUT"

"How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them."

"What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky? He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across."

"What do you call a monkey named James that's afraid of everything? Jim-pansy"

"I just used Oxi Clean for the first time, and it's amazing. I'm starting to think Michael Jackson put it in his bath water."

"""Better to be pissed off than pissed on!"" Actually, I prefer a third scenario where I'm not angry or covered in piss."