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Joke of the Day

"""Time is an arbitrary concept"" is apparently a bad way to explain to your boss why you missed the project deadline"

"I wish my x was raised in the power of 2. Then she'd always be positive."

"What do you call a medical student that graduated at the bottom of his class with a 2.0 GPA? A doctor"

"Scientists have deciphered hieroglyphics thought to be 5,500 years old. The first full sentence says ""This is a repost."""

"Not proof-reading ruins lives A husband wrote the following to his wife: ""I'm having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."""

"When it comes to physically abusive relationships... They are hit or miss"

"i just dropped my phone without the case on it and i can't tell what hit the ground faster my phone or my tears"

"I have a particular disease for which I deny the existence of some 80s bands There is no cure"

"whats Hitlers relationship status... He's Nazing anybody"

"Back in my day, we didn't have apps to tell everyone where we were all the time We had to actually work for it if we wanted to get murdered"