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Joke of the Day
"Text: How come you stopped drinking? Me: Because I kept waking up with you. Her: I hate you."
Next Joke
"A haunted house where they make you look at your checking account balance."
"I did a theatrical performance on puns... It was a play on words. I'll let myself out."
"Twentieth Century Fox should really consider updating their name."
"If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist black people would rob me"
"After 3 months of Crest White Strips, my teeth are so white they bought me a gift card to Anthropologie & wont stop talking about Mad Men."
"in these hard times, it's crucial to stay as positive as Charlie Sheen"
"Sorry, I can't go. My uncle's cousin's sister in law's best friend's insurance agent's roommate's pet goldfish died. Maybe next time? :)"
"What do you call a starting indie dev? No Game No Life"
"How do you call a cross-dressing father of two? Transparent"